The Pope was getting into his limo one night when he turned to the limo driver and said, "Before I die, I would love to drive this beautiful limo just once."

"Well, here," the limo driver says, "Take the wheel, Your ...Read More

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, ...Read More

- If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died. ...Read More

... continued from above

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight ...Read More

One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. There, he deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be ...Read More

Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking space. She'd bump the car in front, then back-up and strike the car behind her. This went on about 2 minutes.

I ...Read More