ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a dear friend who, every time I see her, insists on greeting me with a kiss on the lips. When I attempt to turn the other cheek (pun intended), she firmly redirects me back into position.

I am at a loss for how to address it. The only silver lining of masking up was that it provided a natural barrier, one she ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A graduate from a Seven Sisters college, who is the child of a doctor and a lawyer, sends out announcements with a link to her wish list for classroom items.

Is this a subtle request for gifts for herself, or truly a wish to stock her classroom?

GENTLE READER: Well ... Are the requests for construction paper and colored ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am on a team in an adult sports league. At the end of the season, the team decided to have a party. One of the members volunteered to host it, but then decided to invite other people who aren't associated with the team.

The get-together is no longer a "team" party. Is it proper etiquette for someone who volunteered to host ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I came home from work one evening and found my daughter on the phone, so I passed her a note. She immediately said, "I am on the phone, Dad."

I was upset by this response, and asked who she was talking to -- to make sure I didn't interrupt anything important -- but it happened to be her boyfriend.

Am I overreacting, or she ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please settle an ongoing dispute with my wife. When we attend a concert or show with open seating, is it polite to sit directly in front of someone already seated when there are plenty of other seats available that don't block someone's view?

Both of us are rather tall, and I believe it's more polite for us to sit towards the...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm sure you are aware that grief is one of the toughest emotions to process. I therefore believe those grieving should be given a break and allowed to grieve in the manner that best suites them.

What a horrible burden it is on the grieving to have hanging over them the responsibility of responding to condolence letters if ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I enjoy having friends and acquaintances from different walks of life, and have found unexpected kinship with people who hold beliefs very different from my own. In other words, I try not to be judgmental. My natural inclination when meeting someone is to find common ground.

However, I recently found myself in a situation ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you do when the duty to write thank-you notes overwhelms any genuine sense of gratitude?

In my own upbringing, reciprocity and eagerness to give were prized over the finer points of expressing gratitude, and I confess that my gratitude muscle has suffered as a result. I am trying to strengthen it by practicing writing...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are frequent cruisers. That means we share spaces such as elevators, dining rooms, theaters, lounges, etc., with fellow cruisers we don't know. We have always had pleasant times interacting with others.

On our most recent cruise, we encountered an older couple -- sometimes in the elevators, sometimes in our top-tier lounge...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We invited over some of my partner's friends who all have young children. Our children are grown, but we adore kids.

We understand that kids make messes. We childproofed by moving breakable objects out of reach. We brought out a selection of toys for them to play with. We offered cookies and crackers, and fully expected to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I dine out often. I use my napkin and have good manners, but even so, there are times that I apparently get small particles of food on my face.

When this happens, my husband thinks it's fun to play "food-on-your-face charades." He will point to his own face to let me know that there is a problem, then when I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I regularly host events at our home for groups from five to 20 people. We all have a wonderful time and enjoy one another's company.

However, there is one guest who always makes an offhand "joke" about something in our home or the way I run my kitchen. Things like, "This is the dumbest dish I've ever seen," or ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There's a woman I've known for more than 40 years. We were close when our children were young, but we have not been in regular contact for many years. I still care a lot about her, and believe the feeling is reciprocated.

She's become more isolated by health challenges over the last couple of years, and my invitations to meet...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My cousin, with whom my husband and I are very close, is getting married. Unfortunately, there are a few problems.

The initial issues included our limited finances, transportation troubles, the date of the event (a Thursday night) and the wedding's no-children-allowed rule. With the help of my parents, most of those issues ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I bought our current home about four years ago, although the house itself is about 20 years old. The backyard is surrounded by a standard wooden fence.

The condition of the wood suggests the fence has been there nearly as long as the house, and we think it desperately needs to be replaced. Two of our neighbors ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a restaurant, if my food is served by someone other than my waiter and I need to request an additional or missing item (e.g., extra sauce or sour cream), do I make that request to the person who served the food? Or do I wait for the waiter to come over and ask if everything is OK?

Does it even matter? Sometimes the waiter ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am of Asian descent and have lived in the U.S. for about two-thirds of my life. My pet peeve is when people ask me where I am from. I politely reply with the name of my home state (in the U.S.).

Yes, I still have an accent.

My kids were born in the U.S. and have grown up here; they have no accents and no ties to Asia. And ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I went to the DMV to get a temporary tag, I noticed that every person in line -- about 25 people, from young to middle-aged -- was wearing their pajamas and flip-flops. They all looked like they had just rolled out of bed.

They were also all on their phones, oblivious to others. I felt like I was in their bedrooms or ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: You have been influential in my decision to take up a new hobby this year: mailing handwritten letters to friends and family for a variety of occasions. This includes handwritten thank-you cards instead of my usual texts of gratitude upon receiving a gift when the giver is not present.

But I got myself into a funny conundrum....Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When flying, I often find myself subjected to the unintentional elbow jabs of my seatmate.

I always make a conscious effort to remain within the boundaries of my seat, carefully avoiding encroaching on anyone else's space. However, on my last flight, I was elbowed repeatedly while attempting to sleep. (For the record, I have ...Read more