Life Advice
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Budgeter Doesn't Want To Miss Out On Little Treats
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started budgeting after realizing how much money slips through my fingers each month, especially on little treats like coffee runs, lunches out and takeout. When I added it all up, I was shocked at how much I've been spending without even realizing it. I know I need to be smarter with my money so I can save for my ...Read more
All The Single Ladies ... Are Sick Of This Question
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a single woman who is frequently asked about my plans for marriage. The individuals making these inquiries have no business asking this question, let alone hearing the answer.
I typically smile and change the subject without answering their question. A few times, when particularly startled, I have responded with, "I beg ...Read more
A Cold, Cruel Pattern
Dear Annie: I had a seven-year relationship with a man who I thought was the love of my life. I had been married twice before -- once for 17 years -- to an alcoholic, and I was in a 10-year relationship with a man 15 years older than me.
I have one daughter, who is now 40, and he has a daughter with whom he is estranged. She is 43. He has been ...Read more
Roommate's Spending Habits Make It Hard To Move Out
DEAR ABBY: Nine months ago, my friend "Anne" moved in with me after losing her home following her boyfriend's death. Since then, she's had trouble finding employment, but when she does work, she spends money on stuff she really doesn't need. She's always talking about how she hates to be a burden on me and will move out ASAP. Then she buys ...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend’s fast-moving new relationship raises alarm
Dear Eric: One of my best friends, who is a lesbian, just met a girl two weeks ago and they've already said "I love you" to each other. The other girl seems genuinely lovely, and my friend is very happy, which makes me happy!
Not only is this moving very quickly, but the other girl just got out of an engagement in June. It seems clear that she'...Read more
Friend Shares Too Much On Social Media
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend has a habit of oversharing personal drama on social media, and it's starting to make me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. Often, I'm tagged in posts or mentioned in stories that reveal private conversations or situations that I never intended to be public.
I laughed it off at first, thinking it was harmless, but...Read more
Please: Mr. Snob Was My Father. Call Me 'dr. Snob'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: The culture of my academic field is very casual. I'm interviewing for professorships at several places, and the faculty committees in the interviews -- all "doctors" by title -- invite me to call them by their first names.
Having just completed my Ph.D., I'd like to ask them to recognize this, at least for the period of the ...Read more
Mom's Dementia Is Taking a Toll on Relationship With Brother
Dear Annie: My brother and I are in our early 50s, and our mom has dementia. Our personal lives could not be more different. I have kids and have been married for 25 years. I returned to the workforce full time five years ago after having been a stay-at-home mom. My brother is a newlywed of three years, no kids, and works on big projects for his...Read more
Millennial Life: Be a Buddy, Take a Bullet
My daughter and her best friend started their own business. They made business cards and put the QR code to their Red Cross babysitting certification on the back. Their first client was a neighbor with a toddler who came to our house, where I could watch all three of them, and be a business respite program. I overheard one of them lament after ...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend breaks off contact after her husband’s death
Dear Eric: "Sue" and I have been neighbors and friends for more than 50 years. She and her husband are godparents to one of our children, we are members of social groups together, like book club and bridge group. We have shared many occasions together, at the holidays and with our families.
A couple of years ago her husband (and our friend) ...Read more
Dear Annie: Overlooked and Unhappy
Dear Annie: I'm writing this concerning my family. I have five sons and one daughter who are all grown and have children.
My third son, "Jake," has two adult daughters and an adult son. When Jake's two daughters were kids, I went head over heels in buying things for them. The son wasn't born yet. I bought nothing but the best for the girls, and...Read more
Widowed Mother Develops New Interest In Daughter's Finances
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 50s. For several months, I have been struggling with an issue I have with my mom. She constantly asks me how much my annual income is and how much my husband makes. In the 20-plus years we have been married, we have never asked to borrow money from my parents (or anyone, for that matter). We have always ...Read more

Asking Eric: Son offers no thanks for gifted lake house
Dear Eric: Perhaps my problem stems from the fact that I am a mid-80s mom? A couple of years ago, our very responsible son asked if he could invite about 10 friends to our large lakeside cabin during our absence. There is plenty of room for all to sleep, a big kitchen and boats and a nice lake for all to enjoy. We said fine.
Married and single ...Read more
Loving My Daughter, Struggling With Her Choices
Dear Annie: My daughter will be 26 this year. Her father and I divorced when she was 14. I feel like she had more sense as a 12-year-old than she does now. She had her fair share of issues growing up, and I took her to therapists until she turned 18. Needless to say, we've had a rough relationship the last few years. It's hard to talk to her ...Read more

Asking Eric: Wife won’t apologize for abusive behavior
Dear Eric: My wife and I have been married 26 years. Our children are 25 and 22 and live with us. Over the years we have had plenty of arguments and came very close to divorce immediately after my youngest was born. We attended counseling for a while, but it didn’t really change anything.
In recent years, every little argument sets my wife ...Read more
Setting Limits on Good Deeds
Dear Annie: I've been helping my neighbor with errands and yard work ever since his wife passed last fall. He's 82, lives alone and doesn't have any close family nearby. At first, it felt good to help -- and I still care about him -- but lately, it's gotten overwhelming.
He's started calling me daily, asking me to pick up groceries, sit with ...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend always offers help and then flakes
Dear Eric: How do you recommend dealing with a friend who often offers assistance but never follows through? By the way, cognitive or memory issues do not impact any other situations, and the offer does appear to be genuine.
Since the matters are generally not urgent, and I have the means to resolve them on my own, I would rather not wait days,...Read more
Friendship or Boundary Issue?
Dear Annie: My husband, "Mark," and I have been married for six years. For the most part, things are good between us, but there's one recurring issue I can't get past. Mark's ex-wife, "Tina," is still very involved in his life -- not in a co-parenting way, since they don't even have kids, but socially. She calls him every few weeks or so, ...Read more
Single File: Bed Gratitude
Her phone call startled me. The distraught woman on the other end spoke in rapid-fire sentences, most of them half-finished. Every word was confused, jumbled. But after some time, it became clear that her husband of 30 years was leaving the marriage. He wanted to live alone. In a way, he had already gone; they hadn't had sex in a year, and the ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: 'Is it a red flag if they get sexual before we've even met?'
YES!!!
Probably half of the questions I get are, “Is it a red flag if (fill in the blank)?” And in many of these cases, based on whatever the “blank” is, it’s not a red flag. It’s a mere preference. For example, “It is a red flag if he has a roommate at age 32?” Probably not. “Is it a red flag if he texts his mother every day?...Read more
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