Life Advice
/Health
New Marketing Grad Not Feeling Fulfilled In Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently graduated and entered the workforce, and while I feel grateful to have landed a full-time position in marketing, I'm starting to feel a bit lost. The job itself is fine. I have a supportive team and decent pay, and I get to use some of the skills I learned in school; still, something feels off. I don't feel fulfilled. ...Read more
Volunteer Wants To Adopt Cat Despite Boyfriend's Wishes
DEAR HARRIETTE: I volunteer at my local humane society every weekend, and over the past several months, I've developed a real connection with one of the cats there. Her name is Marbles, and she's been at the shelter for more than a year now. She's had a rough past, and she can be a bit aggressive at times, especially around strangers or loud ...Read more
Sibling Loses Contact With Sister
DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister won't answer my calls or call me back, and I have no idea what I did wrong. She has never been great at communicating, but now she has gone radio silent. At first, I thought she was just busy, but it's been a while now, and I'm starting to worry that something is really wrong between us. I've tried texting her, leaving ...Read more
Husband's Work Trip Activities Come Into Question
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband recently came home from a business trip, and as I was doing the laundry, I noticed a condom in his pants pocket. I am so upset, but I'm afraid to approach him about this. My husband travels a lot for work. I never thought that he might be having sex with someone while he's on the road. Now it seems like it's a ...Read more
Matchmaker Can't Stay Out Of Friend's Love Life
DEAR HARRIETTE: A close friend of mine likes to play the role of cupid. Her interest in other people's love lives might be well-meaning, but for me it feels invasive. I'm generally a bit reserved about my love life, but my friends know about a certain someone I am interested in. There has been some subtle flirting, and so far, I like the slow ...Read more
Readers React To Family Planning Letter
DEAR READERS: I haven't done this before -- run a whole day of your responses to a single letter -- but I'm doing so now because you got so fired up I want you to see how you reacted to the situation. Here's what a few of you had to say about "No More Babies," the woman with five children whose husband wanted her to have a tubal ligation.
DEAR ...Read more
Reader Wants Tips On Communication
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been reading your column for several years, and I've noticed how you are a big advocate for communication. Yay! I agree that communication is key.
Sometimes you provide words or sentences your readers can use. However, in some of the cases people ask you about, it seems like they are talking to a wall, and the other ...Read more
Ex-Partner Questions Timing Of Reconnecting With Man
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think I'm still in love with my ex. Is it possible it just wasn't the right time for us?
My ex and I ran into each other for the first time in a long time at a party back in December, and it's as if we picked up where we left off. There was some subtle avoidance at first, but he checked on me throughout the night and insisted ...Read more
Neighbor Upset By Odor Coming From Next Door
DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors are from another country, and honestly I think they have the worst body odor ever. Their house isn't dirty; I think it must just be what they eat. All I know is that the smell seeps into the hallway and makes me gag. There's nothing I can say about it, but is there anything I can do? We live in an apartment building,...Read more
Friend Wants To Help Woman Struggling With Mental Health
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a close friend who is always upbeat, kind and full of energy, which is why I was surprised when she recently confided in me that she has been struggling with her mental health. She didn't go into too much detail, but I could tell that it's been weighing on her for a while.
I want to be a good friend and offer her the ...Read more
Reader Can't Stop Thinking About Ex-Boyfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and even though I know it was the right decision, I can't seem to stop thinking about him. We were together for a long time, and he was a big part of my daily life. Now that he's gone, everything feels empty. I keep catching myself wanting to text him, wondering what he's doing and replaying...Read more
Boyfriend's Public Proposal Brings Up Doubts
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend recently proposed to me, and I said no -- not because I don't want to marry him, but because of how he did it. He proposed at a baseball game in front of a huge crowd, and it felt completely wrong for me. I don't even like sports, and he knows that.
I've always dreamed of a more intimate and meaningful proposal, ...Read more
Runners Encourage Friend To Train For Marathon
DEAR HARRIETTE: All of my friends are into running, and lately they've been talking about training for a marathon together. They keep encouraging me to join them, saying it would be an amazing challenge, a great bonding experience and something I'd feel proud of accomplishing. The problem is that I hate running. I've never enjoyed it, and I have...Read more
Soon-To-Be Parolee Wants To Reconnect With Family
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm getting out of prison soon, and I'm worried about what comes next. When I left home, things were a bit rocky with my family. Some people have stayed in touch, and others created distance, but I wonder if there is space for reconciliation. I am truly sorry for any difficulty I have caused my family. How can my family and I ...Read more
Colleague Is Overly Dedicated To Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman at my job has been giving me hell. She works nonstop. She's often sending emails at 9 p.m. or 4 a.m. -- and she actually expects a response! Recently she chewed out one of my colleagues because she requested something at 6 a.m. and didn't hear back until 8 a.m., which is still outside of our normal business hours. It may ...Read more
Couple Has Different Views On Finances
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now, and we get along great in most areas. However, I've noticed that we have different approaches to money. I'm focused on saving, investing and planning for the future, while he prefers to live in the moment and spend freely. He likes to buy random infomercial items off of the ...Read more
Friend's Shady Business Sours Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think one of my friends might be working for a pyramid scheme. I can't be sure, but he basically plays the role of a financial adviser and "helps" people invest their money. When they turn a profit, he gets a percentage. The more they invest, the more he gets paid. He offered me his services recently -- encouraging me, really ...Read more
Theater-Goer Expected More After Accident
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went to see a musical that I had been looking forward to for months. The theater was packed, and the performance was absolutely amazing. About halfway through the show, though, I realized I needed to use the restroom. I tried to hold it until intermission, but eventually I just couldn't wait any longer. Since the ...Read more
Parent Weighs Summer Abroad For Daughter
DEAR HARRIETTE: Our daughter wants to go away for a study-abroad program this summer. She is in high school, and her only real experience being away from home is the occasional sleepover and sometimes spending a week with her grandparents. Yes, my husband and I are very protective of her. Plus, she hasn't expressed interest in summer camp or ...Read more
Underemployed Roommate Feels Trapped
DEAR HARRIETTE: I currently live with my boyfriend -- in part because I have nowhere else to go. When we were first dating, I was living alone, but about two years into our relationship I lost my job, and my boyfriend graciously invited me to move in with him. At the time, it felt OK. I didn't like being in a position of need, but that aside, ...Read more