Lori Borgman: Water tumblers salute Gulp of America

Lori Borgman, Tribune News Service on Aug 5, 2025

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Hydration has officially become the cure for whatever ails us.

Feeling sluggish? Hydrate! Dry skin? Hydrate! Joints hurt? Hydrate! High blood pressure? Hydrate! Ingrown toenail? Hydrate! Don’t know what to make for dinner? Hydrate!

To join the wave of adequate hydration, one of our daughters thoughtfully gifted me with a pink XXL insulated water tumbler with an 18-inch straw. It’s like a sippy cup for giants.

My water bottle is so enormous it looks like something I would carry to do a triathlon. So far, my greatest distance has been from the kitchen to the garage.

When my XXL water tumbler is wedged into the cupholder in our car’s console, there’s no room for the husband’s coffee. Poor guy. With hot coffee in hand, he now makes left and right turns very slowly.

Not only does it take more time to turn, it takes more time to get anywhere. It now takes us three and a half-hours for a three-hour drive, due to more frequent stops.

For the record, the number of public restrooms has not increased in proportion to the number of giant water containers in use. Go ahead and drink more but prepare to stand in line longer. I now regret every family trip we ever took when I told one of the kids to “just hold it!”

The real debate in the water craze is not whether to drink, but how much to drink. Recommendations range from one-third of your body weight in fluid ounces to your full body weight in fluid ounces.

A Harvard website floats the idea of 4-6 cups a day, while a UK medical website treads water suggesting 6-8 cups a day. Will Americans rise to the challenge?

The ones who go pro in the name of hydration are the folks carrying gallon-size water bottles. Talk about a win-win. You can hydrate and tone your arms all at the same time.

At this rate, water tumblers will soon be the size of 32-gallon trash cans and require PVC pipes for a straw.

I do drink more with my new XXL tumbler, but it’s so big and clunky it often stays anchored to the kitchen counter. It doesn’t go with me, I go to it.

The real question in the matter of healthy hydration is not how much I should drink, but how much can I drink before I explode.