Column: Meet the women who will clean up your hot messes for free

MINNEAPOLIS -- Tears welled up in Rae Hunter-Loscher’s eyes as she gave a half-dozen women a tour of her small Richfield, Minnesota, house, showing them each room that had spiraled out of control.

Hell hath no shame like a woman embarrassed by her messy home.

The women observed the dirty dishes spilling out of the sink, a kid’s bedroom strewn with stuff and a dining table so cluttered there was no place to set down a plate. Then they assured Hunter-Loscher, a mom of three, that they were here to provide help, not judgment.

The volunteers sorted and scrubbed, transforming her family’s main floor into a clutter-free sanctuary. When Hunter-Loscher returned to the home four hours later, the women gathered to glimpse her reaction.

“They were all waiting on our porch, I came in and the heavens opened,” she recalled, adding the universal sound effect for angels singing.

The glow-up at Hunter-Loscher’s home was the latest “mission” executed by a Minnesota branch of the national nonprofit Hot Mess Express. The movement started in 2021 as a Facebook group in North Carolina by a mom who wanted to help fellow moms struggling with household chores.

Volunteer crews of women tidy up, organize and give overwhelmed women a fresh start to restore a sense of peace in their lives. The organization has expanded across the country, with nearby affiliates also in Dakota and Olmsted counties.

“The focus is to give women a lift,” said Holly Pinkerton, who helped launch the Twin Cities chapter with its first event in March. “This is about laying down a path of some comfort. We can’t fix everything, but if we can make a space comfortable, it helps.”

Researchers would agree. Studies show that a cluttered home can lead to increases in the stress hormone cortisol, with women experiencing larger spikes than men. And while women are more likely than decades ago to work outside the home, they still spend more time on household tasks than men do. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, women devote nearly two hours a day to chores, compared with an hour for men.

It’s not just the cleaning that can take a toll, but the anxiety and mental labor of tallying what needs to be done and how to do it. Women may experience the brunt of the stress if they are the ones in the household expected to carry the load — as well as absorb the moral judgment of visitors.

Between kids’ activities, work and family time, “my house had fallen into chaos,” said Hunter-Loscher. “Your house is a window to your life. I definitely felt the stigma when someone walked into our home.”

This year was especially rough. Hunter-Loscher underwent surgery in May and has been experiencing back issues. Her husband works two jobs; she provides services to people with autism. Paying for a professional cleaning crew is not within the family’s budget.

Hunter-Loscher and I also shared a chuckle over what it’s like trying to tidy up with ADHD: a trail of cleaning supplies scattered throughout the house, with a hundred jobs initiated but not one completely done.

A friend nominated Hunter-Loscher to the Hot Mess Express. The Twin Cities chapter accepts applications for both nominees and volunteers online; it typically completes two events a month.

Before a nominee is selected, Pinkerton meets with the woman to do a walk-through of her house and understand her priorities. It could be anything: conquering a backlog of laundry, scrubbing down a neglected bathroom, reorganizing the kids’ playroom or clearing out an overstuffed closet.

Pinkerton said she draws the line at chronic hoarding but refers people in those situations to other resources.

So who are these saintly superheroes who dedicate four hours of their weekend to clean a stranger’s home?

Christine Asuquo rolled up her sleeves to help Hunter-Loscher, a good friend, during this mission. She enjoyed it so much that she signed up for her second cleanup at a stranger’s house a week later. Asuquo said it was fun to meet other women as they folded laundry and danced to ‘80s music.

The best part, she said, was seeing the sense of joy and relief on someone’s face when her home began to sparkle. Asuquo hopes to leave these women with a “spark of possibility” that can give them confidence to move onto the next task.

“It’s a bucket filler,” she said.

Pinkerton, raised by a single mom, remembers growing up in a home that was not tidy. (“There wasn’t time; she worked full time,” Pinkerton said.) Knowing she can help moms like her own is instantly gratifying.

Pinkerton said she doesn’t keep tabs on families after the crews leave. It’s possible old habits will return, and the house will again fall into disarray.

But when I spoke to Hunter-Loscher a week after the cleanup, her house was still clean. She and her husband made sure their kids understood that they would all have to work hard to pick up after themselves.

The gift from strangers allowed her to “reclaim my life and my kids’ lives,” Hunter-Loscher said, “and keep things as organized and chaos-free as we can.”How to help

The Hot Mess Express is always looking for volunteers and donations. Visit the national website at hotmessexpress.co for information on how to find a local affiliate, apply to volunteer, nominate a friend or start a new affiliate. Most chapters also have a Facebook group where you can learn about upcoming events.