Teenager Wants To Ride Subway Alone
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a New York City mom, raising two boys in an active part of the city. My oldest is turning 13 years old and wants to start taking the train in high school. I didn't start taking public transportation until I was 16 years old, so I think he is still too young. Aside from obvious safety concerns, the NYC transportation system is full of twists and turns that can be confusing -- even to me. My husband and I disagree on this topic; he feels like it's time for our son to start exploring the city he lives in. However, my husband started riding the subway alone around 12 years old, which largely shapes his opinion. Do you think our son is still too young or am I overprotective? -- NYC Mom
DEAR NYC MOM: Personally, I think you are being overly cautious, though the true barometer is your son. How aware is he of his surroundings? Help him get his bearings so that he can feel comfortable going to school -- and elsewhere -- on the train by himself. Perhaps this can be a job for your husband, since he is open to the idea and may be able to bolster your son's confidence more easily.
To help your son and help you not worry so much, give him a cellphone (if he doesn't have one already). Using a map app, show him exactly what mode of transportation he will need to take to get him to his destination. Point out how the app can show him the direction he needs to walk and which train he needs to take. Have him share his location with you. This allows you to track his steps from a distance -- an added relief for you.
Require that your son text you when he arrives at his destination and when he's about to leave. Then let him explore.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is trying out for the lead for her school's summer musical and has been driving herself nuts because she wants to perfect every single line. She has been throwing tantrums because she is so stressed. Her competition is tough as she goes to an artsy school where everyone is talented. At first, I admired her dedication and how seriously she was taking this opportunity. Lately, though, her behavior has become more intense and concerning. She spends hours rehearsing, often refusing to take breaks, and gets frustrated if she makes even the smallest mistake. What used to be something she enjoyed now seems to be causing her anxiety. The stress is starting to affect our entire family. She snaps at her siblings, gets upset over minor things and breaks down into tears when she feels like she's not doing well enough. I try to encourage her and remind her that she doesn't have to be perfect, but it doesn't seem to get through. How can I help my daughter cope with this pressure, and how do I prepare her for the possibility of not getting the role? -- Stressed Out
DEAR STRESSED OUT: Invite your daughter to take walks with you in the morning or evening. Practice deep breathing together. Remind her of how talented she is and tell her that now it's time to relax and own the part -- not necessarily every word. Reinforce that no matter what happens, she is building her resume. In her chosen field, there are wins and losses, but every experience will help her become a great actress.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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