ArcaMax

DEAR ABBY: My daughter was living in my garage apartment but then got married and moved away. Her sister is in law school in another state, and her brother is even farther away in graduate school. I moved close enough to see them when they come to visit their hometown and their mother.

My ex-wife is flying the two out-of-state ones in for a visit, and I asked her if I could take them to lunch or dinner one of the days they are here. She replied that because she paid for the flights, she doesn't have to let me have any time with them. (She seems to have forgotten that she owes me more money than she spent to fly the kids in.)

The last time I asked, she said I could come to her house to see them, but that was it. Because she's being so unkind about this, I wouldn't be comfortable. I guess I'm venting because there's really nothing I can do. Any ideas on how not to feel bad about this? -- SAD DAD IN TEXAS

DEAR DAD: Your children are not "kids." They are adults now. If you want to see them while they are in town, you don't need to ask your ex-wife. Reach out to them directly and ask what they would like to do. From your description of your relationship with your ex, it's clear you are not friendly, but don't let that stop you. You didn't mention how close your bond is with your son and soon-to-be-lawyer daughter, but if it's not too late, keep working to improve it.

DEAR ABBY: For as far back as I can remember, I have eaten my meals one item at a time. I know this is different from the way most people do it. I have observed that most people eat a bite of each food on their plate smooshed together. I tried in the past to combine my foods, but I do not enjoy the flavor as much as eating them separately.

When I eat my eggs over medium, I cut the whites out and eat them first. Then I scoop the yolks up without breaking them and eat them in one delicious bite. When I was growing up, my dad would suggest I combine my food, but he never forced me to do it.

I'm retired now, and once a week I go to breakfast with a friend who watches me eat my eggs and accuses me of being eccentric. Should I change the way I eat in public, or am I entitled to be comfortable? AM I eccentric? -- ONE AT A TIME IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ONE AT A TIME: If you think you are alone in eating each item separately, allow me to offer some comfort by telling you it is exactly what I do -- including cutting the whites off the eggs. Maybe we are both "eccentric" (or have a touch of OCD), but heck -- who cares? It's OUR food, and we're gonna enjoy it just the way we want to!

TO MY READERS: For those who celebrate Easter, I wish you all a meaningful and memorable day. Happy Easter, everyone. -- LOVE, ABBY

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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